MRKL on Ice: February Part 2 (awards)

Snapshot of the standings as of March 1st:

HART

Awarded to the offensive player with the greatest point share for his team for the month (teams in top 10)

Winner: Jonathan Tavares 14.7% (Teeyotes)

Runners Up: Jamie Benn 13.4% (Milan Micahleks), Jason Spezza 12.8% and Henrik Sedin 12.8% (Schizzarks)

Hon. mention: Anders Lee: 15.6% (Vanrooser Canicks)

NORRIS

Awarded to the defenseman with the greatest PPG for the month (minimum 5 games)

Winner: PK Subban 1.07 (Winter Claassics) 

Runners up: Roman Josi 1.00 (Milan Micahleks) and Erik Karlsson 1.00 (G-Phil's Flyers)

CALDER

Awarded to the NHL rookie with the greatest PPG for the month (minimum 5 games)

Winner: Mike Hoffman 1.08 (Powder Rangers, sort of) 

Runners up: Anders Lee 1.00 (Vanrooser Canicks) and Mark Stone 0.92 (Teeyotes)

Denton's paralegal Chantal Vezina

VEZINA

Awarded to the goalie with the most KL points in the month

Winner: Devan Dubnyk 32, sort of (Dicklas Lidstroms, sort of)

Runners-up: Carey Price 25 (Schizzarks) and Cory Schneider 20 (Patrik Stefans, fuck our lives)

BENNING

Awarded to the GM who made the best moves of the month overall

Winner: 12 transactions went down in February as a gear-up before trade-deadline March 8th (Todd Bertuzzi/Steve Moore Co-Memorial Day). Though that is down from the mark of 16 set in January, it's fair to say that we have seen some much bigger players trading places. Ovechkin, Seguin, Thornton, Jones, Miller, Ehlers, are just some of the names that have been sloughed by their former GMs, while Lundqvist, Gaborik, Phaneuf, Elliott, Oshie, Kane, and Fuckin All-star Dany Heatley have all been called up or sent down within their own respective organizations. Awarding GM of the month should be more of a speculative exercise than anything, as your Commissioner attempts to predict which of these moves will payoff the most over the remainder of the season and into the future. Unfortunately, that exercise is damn near impossible, and I am left with an evaluation of the past 28 days and an ounce of subjectivity to avail myself of. After careful consideration, followed by self-loathing, I have no choice but to award the GM of the Magnus Faajarvis (nee Fylanders) with February honours. They not only find themselves atop the standings, but put up the highest total of the month, bolstered by their pick-ups of Thornton and Boychuk. If you go back to January 26th, they've actually benefited from an addition 4 points from Trouba in Phaneufs spot. Undo these moves, and the Faajarvis would be in a familiar dogfight for 3rd, 4th, or 5th, closer to the Lidstroms and Micahleks in the standings than the Krupuls and Stefans.

Runner up: I am reluctant to just hand out acknowledgement for flurries of activity, but I find myself compelled to do so on account of the Dicklas Lidstroms, who made one trade and used 3 add/drops in February. I admire the responsiveness shown by the Lidstroms to circumstances that grabbed their GM by the collar(bone) and challenged him to be bold, or fold. Losing King Henrik and Patty Kane in the same month is a lot of adversity. Add the loss of his back-up goalie Ryan Miller, and weaker GMs may have thrown in the towel. Instead, he has designated the driver between the pipes the rest of the way to be former flame-out Devan Dubnyk, he of the FOURTY-EIGHT (!!) would-be KL points since January 15th.

PREYDE-KIRSHENBLAT

Awarded to the GM who made the most disgraceful move of the month

Winner: Whenever you have an opportunity to name the GM of the G-Phil's Flyers the winner of the P-K award, you take it. Certainly, the justification here is very circuitous and overlooks the fact that the Flyers have injected Seguin, Domi, and Saad to their future. Still, let's just undo those moves--moves that sent two Russian superstars packing--for argument's sake. Let's also consider that Teddy Purcell would have put up the exact same number of points in his slot had the add/drop for Perreault never been used. Let's pretend instead, that the add/drop was used to put Bo Horvat (also sent packing) into Michael Frolik's spot. Yes, all this stretching is making my hammies a bit sore, but had all those moves been made differently, the Flyers would not be "giving up" on their season. Instead, they'd be tied with the Lidstroms, 12 back of first place, which is well within striking distance with 6 weeks to play for any KL team, let alone the star-studded cast that would still include Ovechkin and Datsyuk.

Runner up: the GM of the Schizzarks was actually a candidate for GM of the month, for the sole reason that he immaculately conceived Mikko Koivu and a 3rd round pick (a top 30 pick) in next year's draft from absolutely nothing (PA "The Father" Parenteau). The trouble is, this move has likely repositioned him in this never-never land of "should-I-or-shouldn't-I?". Consider--which this GM endlessly has--that the Schizzarks were a mere five procrastinating hours away from nabbing Nick Foligno, an acquisition that would have found him in first in the KCKL today by 8 points. He then had the hottest under-the-radar "prospect" (not by our rules) in the game, and decided not to lock that shit down. I truly worry that this pattern of behaviour in fantasy hockey is just endemic of a greater inability to connect current behaviour to future goals.