Hardly a Stat Holiday for the KL Commissioner II

Five score (and a half) years ago, a great (Chechen) Canadian, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, created the Keeper League Constitution. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of legal slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering academic and articling injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

In wake of MLK Jr. day, I present to you the second instalment of the Commissioner's Blog. And as he was noted more as a theologian and historian than a mathematician, you'll see this post lacks much, or any, true statistical analyses. Instead, I took a look back at our inaugural draft, and wondered how our initial rosters would have been performing this season if they had been setted and forgetted.


1st: MOILERS (!!!!!)

Status	Player	F	D	G	Total
CORE	Roberto luongo	0	0	52
	Eric Staal	28	0	0
	Jarome iginla	25	0	0
	Ales hemsky	14	0	0
CORE	Taylor hall	45	0	0
CORE	David krejci	33	0	0
	Tyler seguin	53	0	0
done	Nik antropov	0	0	0
done	Andy mcdonald	0	0	0
	John carlson	0	27	0
	Brian campbell	0	15	0
	Kris letang	0	30	0
	Scott hartnell	31	0	0
done	Ian white	0	0	0
	Bryan little	38	0	0
done	Alexei ponikarovsky	0	0	0
	Matt stajan	9	0	0
done	Tuomo ruutu	0	0	0
	Kris russell	0	12	0
	Kevin shattenkirk	0	27	0
	PTS	276	99	52	427

What a wonderful affirmation. Maybe this really is her year and was going to be all along. After a seriously suspect first round pick in Bobby Lu, the heart of this draft in rounds 5 through 15 was hit out of the park, with the exception of Ian White (or who I assume "white" refers to on the original spreadsheet).


2nd: G-PHIL'S FLYERS

Status	Player	F	D	G	Total
	Alex ovechkin	40	0	0
CORE	Pekka rinne	0	0	47
	Pavel datsyuk	22	0	0
CORE	Jordan eberle	22	0	0
done	Nicklas lidstrom	0	0	0
done	Nikolai zherdev	0	0	0
	Tyler ennis	11	0	0
	Jiri hudler	22	0	0
CORE	Erik karlsson	0	47	0
	Alexander steen	41	0	0
	Tomas fleischmann	17	0	0
	Valtteri filppula	22	0	0
done	Tomas vokoun	0	0	0
	Ryan suter	0	30	0
done	Kurtis foster	0	0	0
	Blake wheeler	44	0	0
	Derick brassard	31	0	0
	Patrik berglund	6	0	0
done	Cam barker	0	0	0
	Oliver ekman-larsson	0	33	0
	PTS	261	110	47	418

What a terrible affirmation. This asshole was stacked from day 1. Maybe we can just focus on Nikolai Zherdev in the 6th round and all feel a bit better. Mad respect for the Karlsson and OEL picks. Oh, and 7th overall NHL scorer Blake Wheeler, taken at 240th.


3rd: MILAN MICAHLEKS

Status	Player	F	D	G	Total
CORE	Ryan getzlaf	28	0	0
	Drew doughty	0	25	0
	Brad richards	12	0	0
	Matt duchene	38	0	0
	Mikko koivu	33	0	0
	Alexander edler	0	18	0
	James neal	27	0	0
done	Tim connolly	0	0	0
	Jakub voracek	31	0	0
	Zach bogosian	0	7	0
CORE	Jamie benn	56	0	0
	Michael frolik	17	0	0
	Steve mason	0	0	35
	Jonathan bernier	0	0	21
	Kyle okposo	33	0	0
	Matt Carle	0	0	0
	Blake comeau	20	0	0
	Jarret stoll	4	0	0
	Josh bailey	20	0	0
	Matt hunwick	0	5	0
	PTS	286	55	35	376

Yep, this true visionary has always known what he was doing, including not giving a shit about his goaltending. 12th rounder, Jamie frickin' Benn, everybody. I was also shocked to learn, when trying to discern who "connolly" referred to on the spreadsheet, that Tim put up 65 points in 73 games in the year before we started KL. Incredibly, he is the only guy on this squad no longer player hockey. Matt "ice cold" Carle has apparent played 35 games this season.

4th: DICKLAS LIDSTROMS

Status	Player	F	D	G	Total
CORE	Patrick kane	69	0	0
	Jonathan toews	35	0	0
CORE	Henrik lundqvist	0	0	52
	Ryan kesler	18	0	0
done	Derek roy	0	0	0
	Joe pavelski	43	0	0
	Mike ribeiro	28	0	0
	Dion phaneuf	0	21	0
done	Ryan malone	0	0	0
done	Matthew lombardi	0	0	0
CORE	Antti niemi	0	0	48
	Marc-edouard vlasic	0	24	0
	Milan michalek	10	0	0
done	Guillame latendresse	0	0	0
	Brent burns	0	41	0
	Marc staal	0	12	0
done	Marc savard	0	0	0
done	Daymond langkow	0	0	0
done	JP dumont	0	0	0
done	Mathias ohlund	0	0	0
	PTS	203	98	52	353

Can't argue with this bluechip core of Kane and Lundqvist being among the KL's best to build a team around. Remember the days when Brent Burns was just "that defenceman on the Wild"? Also, looks like Dickie might have had to get back to work and checked out for the final four rounds.

5th: TEEYOTES

Status	Player	F	D	G	Total
	Evgeni malkin	44	0	0
CORE	John tavares	31	0	0
	Henrik zetterberg	30	0	0
	Craig anderson	0	0	48
done	Daniel briere	0	0	0
	Jason pominville	19	0	0
	Brad boyes	13	0	0
	Niklas kronwall	0	17	0
	John-Michael liles	0	11	0
CORE	Milan lucic	28	0	0
CORE	Dustin byfuglien	25	0	0
	Jonas hiller	0	0	14
	Joffrey lupul	12	0	0
CORE	Brent seabrook	31	0	0
	Marek zidlicky	0	13	0
done	Pierre-Marc bouchard	0	0	0
done	Steve sullivan	0	0	0
	Mark streit	0	11	0
	Nazem kadri	23	0	0
	Andrew cogliano	13	0	0
	PTS	244	52	48	344

I was shocked to discover that this roster actually looked any different. Perhaps it is of little surprise that the Teeyotes boast the most players still around from that first draft (if we count Seabrook). Impressively, this roster is second only to the Micahleks for fewest players no longer in the NHL.

6th: SCHIZZARKS

Status	Player	F	D	G	Total
CORE	Zach parise	27	0	0
	Corey perry	28	0	0
CORE	Rick nash	31	0	0
done	Nathan horton	0	0	0
	Patrick sharp	37	0	0
	David backes	26	0	0
	Magnus paajarvi	5	0	0
done	Brian rafalski	0	0	0
	Alex goligoski	0	20	0
	Ales hemsky	14	0	0
done	Jamie langenbrunner	0	0	0
	Kevin bieksa	0	8	0
done	Niklas backstrom	0	0	0
	Jay bouwmeester	0	12	0
	Dennis seidenberg	0	6	0
CORE	Carey price	0	0	26
done	Tomas holmstrom	0	0	0
CORE	Drew stafford	24	0	0
	Lee stempniak	31	0	0
	Lars eller	14	0	0
	PTS	232	46	26	304

Actually, if we count Stafford, this roster is tied with the Teeyotes for most hardcore. I love that Backstrom was taken as the Schizzark's goalie three rounds before Carey Price. Schizz loves to point to Rafalski's early retirement as the reason he hasn't won the Krusell Cup yet, but I suspect that his 4th and 7th round picks in the inaugural draft might have had something to do with it too. 

7th: FYLANDERS

Status	Player	F	D	G	Total
CORE	Nicklas backstrom	42	0	0
CORE	Marc-Andre fleury	0	0	47
	Vincent lecavalier	4	0	0
	Marian hossa	24	0	0
	Tyler myers	0	18	0
	Dustin brown	14	0	0
CORE	Thomas vanek	28	0	0
done	Ryan whitney	0	0	0
	Brian gionta	15	0	0
	Michael del zotto	0	11	0
	Chris kunitz	16	0	0
done	Martin turco	0	0	0
	James van riemsdyk	29	0	0
done	Milan hejduk	0	0	0
done	James wisniewski	0	0	0
	Nikolay kulemin	13	0	0
	Brandon dubinsky	24	0	0
	Johnny boychuk	0	14	0
done	Derek morris	0	0	0
done	Gilbert brule	0	0	0
	PTS	205	43	47	295

Pretty solid core here too that the Fylanders have remained loyal to. We all expected Tyler Myers to have won four Norris Trophies by now. When I saw "morris" on the spreadsheet, I was all like... "Phillip?... Zach?..."

8th: ST. JEWISH BLUES (Quebec Rordiques)

Status	Player	F	D	G	Total
	henrik Sedin	37	0	0
	Marian gaborik	17	0	0
	Paul stastny	23	0	0
CORE	Bobby ryan	39	0	0
	Jaroslav halak	0	0	33
	Chris stewart	12	0	0
	Erik johnson	0	16	0
done	Tomas kaberle	0	0	0
done	Bryan mccabe	0	0	0
	Patric hornqvist	23	0	0
done	David booth	0	0	0
	Rene bourque	4	0	0
done	Brendan morrow	0	0	0
	Mark giordano	0	26	0
done	Stephane robidas	0	0	0
	Jason demers	0	15	0
	Wayne simmonds	25	0	0
done	Saku koivu	0	0	0
done	Chris mason	0	0	0
CORE	Brayden schenn	22	0	0
	PTS	202	57	33	292

It is adorable how this franchise, despite management change, geographical move, and religious stripping, has coddled Brayden Schenn along through it all. The always average Blues lost enthusiasm somewhere along the line, and the Rordiques have truly doing their best to mop up all aisles of this once failing establishment.

9th: MACKHAWKS

Status	Player	F	D	G	Total
	Joe thornton	35	0	0
done	Dany heatley	0	0	0
	Jeff carter	32	0	0
CORE	Phil kessel	27	0	0
	Cam ward	0	0	36
	Scott gomez	8	0	0
	Jamie mcbain	0	6	0
	Andrei markov	0	23	0
CORE	Jonathan quick	0	0	62
done	Ryan clowe	0	0	0
	Jussi jokinen	26	0	0
	David perron	17	0	0
	Jack johnson	14	0	0
done	Ray whitney	0	0	0
done	Alexei kovalev	0	0	0
	Tom gilbert	0	1	0
done	Todd bertuzzi	0	0	0
done	Anton babchuck	0	0	0
	Shawn horcoff	10	0	0
done	Michael ryder	0	0	0
	PTS	169	30	62	261

Fuckin' all star, that 20th overall pick. Maybe this is the year that Jamie McBain finally breaks out. At 101st overall in our draft, he was the 14th (!) defenceman taken. Nice to see Tom Gilbert still trying to contribute. 

10th: PREYDATORS (Los Amjawors Kings and WBS Parkers)

Status	Player	F	D	G	Total
CORE	Sidney crosby	37	0	0
CORE	Duncan keith	0	29	0
done	Ilya bryzgalov	0	0	0
	Michael cammalleri	35	0	0
done	Wojtek wolski	0	0	0
	Alexandre burrows	12	0	0
done	Devin setoguchi	0	0	0
	Victor hedman	0	25	0
	Pascal dupuis	4	0	0
done	TJ galiardi	0	0	0
	Tyler bozak	28	0	0
	Kris versteeg	28	0	0
	Ryan ellis	0	19	0
done	Jordan leopold	0	0	0
done	Sergei kostitsyn	0	0	0
done	Dan cleary	0	0	0
	Alex pietrangelo	0	19	0
	Carl gunnarsson	0	5	0
	Viktor stalberg	13	0	0
done	Andrew ference	0	0	0
	PTS	157	92	0	249

After two sort of no brainer picks who have remained "core", things went off the rails in a humongous big way. A nod to the Hedman pick at 119th overall, but I have to key in on some of these late round dmen. Of Leopold, Gunnarsson, and Ference, in a 36 combined NHL seasons they have put up more than 20 points in just 4 of them and have never been fantasy relevant. It was nice to see that one of Lia's successors remained faithful to the strategy of stay-at-home guys on the back end (Gudbranson!).

11th: POWDER RANGERS

Status	Player	F	D	G	Total
CORE	Steven stamkos	35	0	0
	Anze kopitar	38	0	0
	Semyon varlamov	0	0	38
	Christian ehrhoff	0	9	0
	Travis zajac	19	0	0
	Johan franzen	1	0	0
done	Chris pronger	0	0	0
	T.J. oshie	27	0	0
done	Nikita filatov	0	0	0
	Martin havlat	1	0	0
	Patrice bergeron	40	0	0
done	Pavel kubina	0	0	0
	Alex tanguay	16	0	0
done	Mike comrie	0	0	0
done	Ed jovanovski	0	0	0
	Logan couture	8	0	0
done	Eric cole	0	0	0
	Braydon coburn	0	6	0
done	Michael neuvirth	0	0	0
done	Kyle beach	0	0	0
	PTS	185	15	38	238

I feel like the Filatov pick has been ridiculed many times before, but not enough has been said about Kyle Beach. "Beachy", as his former Missouri Maverick teammates called him, was signed to the ECHL squad on November 24th, 2015 and was starting to get some press: http://lstribune.net/lees-summit-sports/meet-a-maverick-kyle-beach.htm. For reasons unknown, however, he went back to Austria before getting the chance to suit up on Dec 18th against the Cincinnati Cyclones and Quest's very own Mike Hammond (actually).

12th: CALGARY WITTMEN (Patrik Stefans)

Status	Player	F	D	G	Total
	daniel Sedin	41	0	0
	Jimmy howard	0	0	21
	Jason spezza	36	0	0
done	Mikka kiprusoff	0	0	0
	Toby enstrom	0	10	0
	Tomas plekanec	34	0	0
	Sam gagner	5	0	0
	Patrik elias	5	0	0
	Paul martin	0	10	0
	Evander kane	17	0	0
done	Olli jokinen	0	0	0
done	Ville leino	0	0	0
	Mikhail grabovski	19	0	0
	Matt moulson	12	0	0
	Fedor tyutin	0	2	0
	Scottie upshall	6	0	0
	Carlo colaiacovo	0	4	0
done	Brandon Yip	0	0	0
done	Jaroslav spacek	0	0	0
done	Peter mueller	0	0	0
	PTS	175	26	21	222

This is pretty fuckin' bad, but I will remind everyone that this team led for more days that first season than any other team, and by a wide margin. It helped that Daniel won the Art Ross. Pretty curious decisions early with Howard and Kiprusoff going 4th and 11th among all goaltenders. I'd like to claim something similar to what I posited about Dickie (had to tend to pressing work for the final 6 rounds) but we all know that isn't true. Wow, just awful.

13th: WINTER CLAASSICS

Status	Player	F	D	G	Total
done	Martin brodeur	0	0	0
CORE	Mike green	0	17	0
CORE	Patrick marleau	30	0	0
	Loui eriksson	37	0	0
done	Daniel alfredsson	0	0	0
	Shea weber	0	29	0
	Zdeno chara	0	24	0
CORE	P.K. subban	0	32	0
done	Kristian huselius	0	0	0
done	Mike knuble	0	0	0
done	Ryan smyth	0	0	0
done	Rich peverley	0	0	0
	Dan hamhuis	0	4	0
	David jones	14	0	0
done	RJ umberger	0	0	0
	Michael grabner	11	0	0
done	Teemu selanne	0	0	0
	Brandon sutter	8	0	0
	Matt cullen	13	0	0
done	Alexander frolov	0	0	0
	PTS	113	102	0	215

Well, I guess for the purposes of this post, this roster was pretty unfairly handicapped by that first pick. Worth noting, however, that after coming off a 77-game, 45-win, 9-shutout season in 2009-2010, Brodeur never again played 60 games in a season and his win totals were: 23, 31, 13, 19, 3. After some really solid picks amid the run on defencemen, looks like this GM put his feet up.

14th: JOSHFREY KRUPULS

Status	Player	F	D	G	Total
done	Martin st. louis	0	0	0
	Ryan miller	0	0	32
done	Mike richards	0	0	0
	Dan boyle	0	14	0
done	Simon gagne	0	0	0
	Claude giroux	35	0	0
	Shane doan	24	0	0
done	Lubomir visnovsky	0	0	0
done	Stephen weiss	0	0	0
	Antoine vermette	19	0	0
done	Jason arnott	0	0	0
done	Joni pitkanen	0	0	0
done	Martin erat	0	0	0
	Jordan staal	22	0	0
CORE	Kari lehtonen	0	0	32
	Dennis wideman	0	19	0
done	Andrew brunette	0	0	0
done	David bolland	0	0	0
	Dmitry kulikov	0	8	0
	Frans nielsen	28	0	0
	PTS	128	41	32	201

Ladies and Gentlemen, the starting roster that named and then hoisted the Krusell Cup! J-Kru definitely was beneficiary of some last glimmers from some of these twilighters. He went for it, and it paid off. Mike Richards in the third round?! Guy put up 66 that first season. Ah yes, Kari Lehtonen, the glue that holds this team together.

15th MANITOBA ROOS (Valeri Nickrooshkins)

Status	Player	F	D	G	Total
	Alexander semin	4	0	0
done	Ilya kovalchuk	0	0	0
	Tuukka rask	0	0	47
done	Sergei gonchar	0	0	0
done	Mikael samuelsson	0	0	0
	Brooks laich	5	0	0
done	Dustin penner	0	0	0
	Keith yandle	0	23	0
	Steve downie	6	0	0
done	Kimmo timonen	0	0	0
	Troy brouwer	19	0	0
done	Niclas bergfors	0	0	0
	Andy greene	0	7	0
done	Vaclav prospal	0	0	0
	Mike fisher	9	0	0
done	Keith ballard	0	0	0
done	Peter regin	0	0	0
	Ryan callahan	14	0	0
	David clarkson	2	0	0
	Radim vrbata	21	0	0
	PTS	80	30	47	157

What can be said?! Leaving Semin out of this at 14th overall (!), the Samuelsson, Laich, Penner, and Downie picks all in the first half of the draft are actually distressing. Pretty tough to recover from. Done done done done done done done done done. Or maybe they're next year's Moilers?! After all, this post really is about having a dream.