GMJK placed himself in the shoes of three other GMs (ER, RP and SJ) before the Protected Roster announcements, and tried to figure out how he'd handle the PR decisions and the draft based on the current state of the team. The results are as follows...
WILKES-BENHAM/SCRANTON PARKERS
1 . Who are the senior team PR locks and are
there difficult “bubble” decisions?
After narrowly landing in the final playoff spot (and squarely landing in a tree well) last season, GMRP of the
Wilkes-Benham/Scranton Parkers will look to regain atrophied muscle mass and
build toward a top 4 finish this year with some pleasant new surprises in the
senior PR . But
he’ll need a bounce back performance from the starting netminder and to hope
that his body accepts the titanium rod fused inside his calf. The prospective
PR comes with some tough “bubble” decisions that could make or break the W-B/SP’s
year:
Nathan
MacKinnon (F)
Recent Sportsnet articles suggest
MacKinnon is the best athlete in the entire NHL, with outrageous VO2 max and
ankle dexterity or something. And last year’s 97 points in 74 should have GMRP
as rock hard as his plaster cast. But he should be somewhat wary of a sudden
spike to 13.4% shooting for Nate the Great, who historically has a below
average percentage. But with the emergence of Landeskog and Rantanen on his
wings, and Tyson Barrie powering the back-end on the powerplay, Mac Daddy could
challenge McDavid this year.
Benefactor of the cyber bullying
perpetrated by Monika Caryk against the Family Karlsson, Crotch Check will have
Mike Hoffman on his wing this year in addition to Huberdeau. So long as he
likes all of the Instagram posts from The Hoff’s girlfriend, this should be
magic; particularly when they team up with Barkov and Yandle on PP1. While last year was his real breakout, you’d
imagine he’ll stay above 70 points for the foreseeable future.
Mounting a bid to overtake Marco
Sturm as the greatest ever German hockey player, Draisaitl has posted 77 and 70
in the past two seasons, despite having Lucic and an AHL player on his wings.
Thankfully the Oilers have found him more support this year by bringing in
*squints* Tobias Rieder. Hopefully Yamamoto or Puljujärvi can own that RW spot
this year to add some scoring oomph to make all of his hingebungsvoll der sportfreunds
clap politely.
Injured for most of last year, El Jeffe still posted 22 in 27, and you’d
have to like his chances of returning to the high 60s or more on a Kings team
that has finally unleashed its offence. Kopitar is Kingly, and even Dustin
Brown is relevant again! Like GMRP himself, though, there are question marks
around Carter’s ability to return to his former glory after suffering an injury
at 33 years of age.
Between Niederreiter, Haula, and Coyle, Jason Zucker may have seemed the
least likely of the middling Wild wingers to actually break out, but in 2017-18
he posted 64 in 82 on Eric Staal’s wing, having only posted 26, 23 and 47
previously. Staal’s resurgence in Minny has made Zucker a bona fide keeper, but
as Eric and Zach Parise age, Zucker’s production could pucker.
Like Carter, he’s 33, but it didn’t stop him from matching a career high
51 points last year. Who knew that after he left Nashville, Suter would make a
case for being the better between he and Shea Weber. His year-over-year points
totals are a bit volatile, though, and GMRP will need to evaluate where his
team is, and whether this aging scorer should be moved for assets at some point
this season.
Lost
behind the initial hype over Werenski, who was drafted one spot after Provorov
in 2015, Ivan is not at all terrible, having posted 30 in Year 1 and 41 last
year. Now cementing himself on the first pairing, his impact should only grow.
The cap on his numbers will continue to be Ghostbear’s dominance on PP1, which
has relegated Provy to the second unit. But GMRP has a quality long-term keeper
here.
Both
Varlamov and Talbot had disappointing years for the W-B/S Parkers, but GMRP has
to stick by Cam while the Oilers continue to have The Best Player In The World.
He’s looked excellent in preseason, for what that’s worth, and the Oilers
shored up the defence by…losing Andrej Sekera (*gritted teeth emoji*). This story will make or break the Parkers’
season.
With the above 8 players locked
in, GMRP has some tough decisions on the “bubble” but it is probably time to
cut bait on Varlamov as Grubauer eats his starts, and on Tyler Johnson, whose
72 in 77 from 2014-15 is at Stastny-levels of fading memory. But the one that
will cut GMRP the deepest is Duncan Keith: at 35 years old now, he put up a
decent but unremarkable 32 points last year. If GMRP decides to spend a PR spot
on him he will need to carefully manage this asset (see comments re: Suter
above). My bets are on the following younger players to make the opening day
roster:
Yanni Gourde (F)
Yanni
Laurel Gourde is the perfect decorative fruit selection as we enter the spooky
season, and also a perfect pick for the Parkers’ PR. A shrewd post-draft
pick up by GMRP last year, Gourde came out of nowhere to post 64 in 82 (though
the Parkers saw only 14 of those). Playing 2nd line RW with Brayden
Point and sniffing PP2 time, he should be able to recreate strong numbers. But
here’s hoping he doesn’t turn into a pumpkin!
While he posted only 44 points last year, Palmolive did it in a shortened
62 game season, and so he could look to return to the high-50s this upcoming
year on PP1 and next to Zacha on the second line. But it must be tough to grow
up on Long Island, only to be moved as a player to your childhood rival. Oh,
and as mentioned elsewhere, the Computer Boyz are not high on the Devils this
year, so beware!
2 . Are the 2 prospect slots no-brainers or tricky?
GMRP has been patient with two prospects that have mouth-watering upside, but who have underperformed to date: Dylan Strome and Jesse Puljujärvi. Surprisingly, given how long he seems to have hung around, Strome still has two years left on his ELC, while saltwater taffy has only this upcoming season to prove his worth on the depleted right side of the Oilers. Corey Pronman, Scott Wheeler and other prospect junkies say that Strome still has a ton of upside, and so the Parkers have something to look forward to.
3 . With those keepers, what ought to be GMRP’s 2018 Draft priorities?
Like the Los Amjawors Kings, the Parkers traded none of their picks and have a yawn-inducing set of standard selections in rounds 1 through 10 (albeit in the middle of each round). Unlike GMSJ, GMRP has no excuse for such inactivity on the trade market, given he was confined to bed in the latter half of the season. His only justification is that his ladyfriend caretaker during that time was as distracting as Kathy Bates, though I’m sure she delivered the opposite of Misery.
With some aging players, only two D-men kept, a soft bottom end in the forward group, and some questions in goal, here’s how the draft priorities should rank:
- Use the 8th overall pick to grab a former Claassics D-man or see if any of the blue chip prospect forwards are still available;
- Use an early-round pick on a high upside ‘keeper to push Talbot;
- Fill out the D and bottom end of the SR forwards through the middle; and
- Grab 1 forward and 1 D prospect to replace Pulju and the open D slot in the new 3 slot system.
4 . What keeps GMRP up at night?
Other than the searing cold of titanium in his lower extremity and his phantom tibia syndrome, GMRP will really struggle with the netminder question, and with the pain of unloading an old standby in Duncan Keith. The ages of Suter and Carter will start to creep in as well, but everyone else is young, and there’s two solid prospects for this year. The big question will be whether he should make a move for the top four of our rankings with this draft at the expense of missing on blue chip prospects. Knowing that he intends to be back in his ski boots on opening day this season, expect GMRP to take risks.
5 . How will 2018/19 end?
8th place.
The following are based on Cullen’s projections at TSN (who is generally quite conservative), and a goalie guess.
MacKinnon
|
88
|
Trocheck
|
67
|
Draisaitl
|
69
|
Carter
|
54
|
Zucker
|
53
|
Suter
|
48
|
Provorov
|
38
|
Gourde
|
48
|
Palmieri
|
51
|
Talbot
|
85
|
TOTAL
|
603
|
Haha just read this for the first time, hours after finishing the draft. Bang on Josh. I meant to grab a better goalie backup, but overall had a pretty similar draft strategy.
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