Who the H does Brent Burns think he is?

Seriously.

As of the date of writing, Brent Burns sits 3rd in NHL scoring, behind only Connor McDavid and Sidney Crosby, the consensus best players on the planet. While his beard seems to continue to get all the attention, there aren't enough hyperboles or superlatives to describe just how astonishing his ascendance as a hockey player has been. Below, I chronicle both his playing career, and his career in the KL.

The first season you'll find on hockeydb for Mr. Burns is a stint with the Couchiching Terriers in 2001-02 in the OPJHL [Sidenote: GM of the Fylanders had a cup of coffee in this league 5 years later with Orangeville], where he manned the blue line alongside a dude named Joe Bowcock, who is now a lawyer, actually. After an impressive next season with the Battalion in the "O", he was drafted into the Wild's system, and spent a couple years developing in Houston. In the 2004-05 lock-out season, he put up 27 points in 73 games for the Aeros. For comparison, Clayton fucking Stoner put up 24 points in 73 games the very next season there. I guess by the time Brent Burns got the call for full-time service with the Wild post-lockout, he was likely set to become a serviceable defenceman in the National Hockey League. Little more could be said, and I imagine little else was being said.

To be fair, Burns acquitted himself impressively on the backend in Minnesota upon arrival, and eclipsed the 40 point mark in just his third full season. By 2008-09, he was arguably the best all-round dman there, though his competition for such acclaim was found in the likes of Kurtis Foster and Marek Zidlicky. I don't really recall taking note.

We started this wonderful keeper league of ours in September 2010. In that inaugural draft, 57 defencemen were taken before Brent Burns, who went 219th overall in the 15th round. Oddly enough, Kurtis Foster and Marek Zidlicky went before him, 211th and 216th, respectively. Burns impressed in that first KL season, putting up 46 points in 80 games and earning him a keeper spot with the Dicklas Lidstroms. Still, I don't remember the "elite" label getting slapped to his name, nor does it appear that GM of the Lidstroms thought likewise when he dealt Burns midseason 2011-12 to the Joshfrey Krupuls in a trade I don't really understand at all in hindsight (I invite either GM to comment on this mass D swap). So much is clear, however, that Burns was not thought to be KL championship material.

Then came the move in real life that seems to have changed everything for Brent Burns. Ron Wilson sent cute little Devin Setoguchi-guchi-goo and Charlie Coyle to the twin cities and locked up the future Norris trophy winner (calling it, hardly bold) for 5.76m AAV over the next 5 seasons. Burns had been making Luca Sbisa money (or Clayton Stoner money, if you will) prior to that. Wilson saw something in Burns, beyond testosterone, that hadn't fully been unleashed.

For all that investment and hype, we didn't really buy in as a GM collective. Sure, JKru kept Burns going into the lock-out shortened 2012-13 season, but after seeing him put up 20 points in an even more shortened 30 game season, he.... DROPPED him! The Fylanders were quick to nab him the ensuing draft, and in the first round at 13th overall I might add, but not before they had already taken Seth Jones earlier in that round, and not before former Burns owner and GM of the Lidstroms decided to pass and take Tobias Enstrom at 9th overall. The Fylanders' GM hardly saw this as a coup, either, and sent Burns to the Mackhawks prior to the 2014 draft for a goddam fourth round pick! Fy used that pick to take one coked-out Mike Richards. Yeah, Fy basically dropped him too.

Meanwhile, Burns steadily increased his production. We all are now familiar enough with the numbers over the last three seasons, not to mention the $8m per that he's secured until he's 40 years old. But just so there is really no confusion: he put up 60 points, then 75, and is now on pace for 87 this season, a total that won Jamie Benn the Art Ross in 2014-15. He hasn't missed a game since November 2013.

But I guess the Mackhawks still weren't convinced with what they had before this season started, and sent Burns packing to the Kings for a bunch of over-privileged youth, whom I suppose, and as this blogpost attests to, we have absolutely no clue what will become of over the next decade. A slight aside, in what is my favourite side story to continue following in this KL campaign: had the Mackhawks kept Burns, and either taken Peter Budaj somewhere in the draft or dropped Quick for Budaj, even if more for comedic effect/relief, they would currently have 513 points. Now take all of the extra Burns points away from the Los Amjawors Kings, and for argument's sake, assume that Niskanen doesn't funnel to the Stefans as what was very much a by-product of all of this, and the Mackhawks would be leading the Keeper League. Let me repeat that. The Mackhawks would be leading the keeper league!

Dobber has Brent Burns ranked as number 1 among defensemen to own in points only keeper league (as of today!). The hockey world is starting to utter his name in the same sentences as Paul Coffey and even Bobby Orr. And he's been playing with a swagger while surely giving zero fucks about what anyone thinks about his face or his play.

Maybe the better question is who the H do we think Brent Burns is?