It's mid-January and we're almost 50 games into the season, enough games to know that Sidney Crosby is still magic; Bruce Boudreau is a hell of a coach; and Mikhail Grigorenko's breakout year is not this year.
I have ranked each KL team by estimated position in the final standings. This is not based on actual statistics, but on intangible things like grit, character, pugnacity, and my own inner feelings - aka, Maple Leaf Style. But note that these are not power rankings, because those are boring. These are Power Ranklings.
rankle, v. to cause annoyance or resentment that persists.
Still struggling to find their identity since Kovalchuk fled for the KHL, the former Manitoba Roos drafted fairly well, but took some gambles that didn't pay off (e.g., Pierre-Marc Bouchard).
SYSTEM's biggest move this season was picking up free agent Anton Khudobin. I don't know if this text was sardonic or not.
It was probably said in jest, but SYSTEM's Khudoboner may be symptomatic of general delusion about the competitiveness of his roster. The rest of us look at these guys and go:
RBP is excited to be getting a high draft pick this year, and next year, and for probably four years in a row.
Shameless trade-whore of a GM is at least getting his money's worth from the pool in terms of entertainment value. I think he's trying to tank, which is all well and good, but it's actually going to be tough to fail harder than the non-tanking Schizzarks.
The rest of the league, looking at Rory's first year:
(yellow font may or may not denote sarcasm)
Sad Ben Scrivens isn't on the Schizzarks, but in this gif he represents the Schizzarks' GM, watching his team tumble down the standings. In the end, he has to look away.
So these ranklings are meant to ruffle some feathers and call out some GMs. Take everything with a grain of salt though; as John Tortorella would say, I haven't won a goddamn thing in this league so what I should do is just shut up.
Starting with the bottom eight today. Top eight to come tomorrow.
* * *
9. Moilers (currently: 10)
A month ago, the Moilers had an embarrassment of riches in net. How quickly things have changed. Luongo keeps getting hurt (not that he'd be racking up wins for the Canucks right now anyway); Crawford can't buy a win. Still, a healthy Letang and a resurgent Eric Staal should push this team back into rightful contention.
In this gif, John Tortorella is the Moilers' GM, and Alex Edler is Alex Edler.
10. Joshfrey Krupuls (currently: 9)
When I look at this roster, I feel like it should be doing better. There is playoff potential here.
I just can't see it actually happening.
11. Los Amjawors Kings (currently: 8)
This year's cinderella story, the Sam Kings have exceeded anyone's reasonable expectations by rising to playoff contention. But a closer look reveals that this team has only some, but not all, of the pieces of a perennial contender. They are too vulnerable to contend with established teams this year, as there is huge drop-off after their scoring roster forwards. Watch out for them next year, maybe two years from now, provided they can avoid drafting Gudbranson and Kulikov with second- and third-round picks.
When I look at Crosby on this team...
12. Vanrooser Canicks (currently: 14)
Still struggling to find their identity since Kovalchuk fled for the KHL, the former Manitoba Roos drafted fairly well, but took some gambles that didn't pay off (e.g., Pierre-Marc Bouchard).
Guest blogger doge summarizes the Canicks.
13. Patrik Stefans (currently: 12)
SYSTEM's biggest move this season was picking up free agent Anton Khudobin. I don't know if this text was sardonic or not.
It was probably said in jest, but SYSTEM's Khudoboner may be symptomatic of general delusion about the competitiveness of his roster. The rest of us look at these guys and go:
14. WBS Parkers (currently: 16)
Tomas Hertl was a great selection, and prospect keeper Teuvo Teravainen's stock is rapidly rising... but can anyone tell me why a rebuilding expansion team would draft aging has-beens like Saku Koivu, Kimmo Timonen and Martin Havlat?
RBP is excited to be getting a high draft pick this year, and next year, and for probably four years in a row.
15. Quebec Rordiques (currently: 13)
Shameless trade-whore of a GM is at least getting his money's worth from the pool in terms of entertainment value. I think he's trying to tank, which is all well and good, but it's actually going to be tough to fail harder than the non-tanking Schizzarks.
The rest of the league, looking at Rory's first year:
16. Schizzarks (currently: 15)
Carey Price has put together an outstanding season, but there is evidence that the poorly-coached Habs are due for a nosedive (that is the only serious link or sentence in this post and I apologize for it). Jay Bouwmeester was the only draft pick that panned out. Everything else about this team is Despres-sing. An unmitigated disaster of a season that leaves one wondering if the team that finished 6th last year needs a total dissection, or if Parise, Nash, Spezza and Hank are legitimate enough scoring threats, when healthy, to be a viable core.
Sad Ben Scrivens isn't on the Schizzarks, but in this gif he represents the Schizzarks' GM, watching his team tumble down the standings. In the end, he has to look away.
this is great.
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